Post Partum Depression

As I am laying on a bed in my hotel room while on vacation with the world's best family I am crying inside for a woman that I don't know and her two beautiful children. There was a time in my life when I truly believed that moments like this would never happen. That I would never be happy again.  I didn't want to get up in the morning and believed that I had ruined my perfect family by adding a son that I just could not handle. With the help of my husband, my mom, and some really wonderful friends I got through the fog into the sunshine and realized that I am the luckiest mom on the planet. But I often wonder where I would have been without all those people who knew that something wasn't quite right. I do not think for a second that I could have harmed my children but really what mother does think so?  I did not have the psychosis part of post partum depression but in comparison to the many people I have met since that diagnosis my depression was diagnosed very early. I had the support of family and friends until the meds kicked in and I became myself again. So I try not to think about what could have happened but moments like this make me fearful. Obviously we are missing something in the process of post partum depression. Yes we get those pamphlets that tell you all about it but we need to do more. Every caregiver, family member, and friend should be on the look out for moms who are hurting. And we need to stop the stigma so that moms can ask for the help that they need. Let's stop this heartbreaking illness and protect all the moms and their children. My thoughts are with the family of Lisa Gibson. She was a pharmacist with a toddler daughter and a newborn son. She was a woman who sounds a lot like me. I'm so sorry that this has happened to you and your family.