I'm one of those people who is too nice. Don't think I am tooting my own horn here. In my case it's actually a personality flaw. And I know where it comes from. My mom. Just so you know, if you ever are alone on Christmas or Thanksgiving, her house is always open. Even if she would rather have a quiet family gathering, it will never happen because her instinct is to include anyone and everyone who may be alone on the holidays. Now I don't know if mine is inherited or a learned behaviour...but either way, if you need someone to bake cookies for your sale, sell tickets, or babysit your kids, I'm there.
If we are close friends and you are reading this and wondering if I am talking about you, I'm not. I still have the inability to say no to you but I don't mind because it is reciprocated. I'm talking about the person I never see who wants me to come to their birthday party. The lady with no friends that I have nothing in common with. The co-worker selling Amway who has no supporters. Not only will I attend your party but out of fear that you won't get presents, I will bring the biggest one. And the lady I have nothing in common with will be invited to my home on a regular basis because she appears to be lonely. And to the guy selling Amway...I would love to continue buying your stuff on a regular basis even though it is super expensive. Did you know you can order toilet paper from Amway?
You're probably wondering why this is a concern for me. And that reason is because I only have so much time in a day. I have two wonderfully busy kids. A husband who would like some attention from time to time. And I manage a busy pharmacy full time. I have very little spare time and I have a hard time trying to juggle all the things I want to do. Don't get me wrong. I love being nice. I actually feel incredibly guilty if I say no. So much so that it is often better to just do it than it is to deal with feeling bad about saying no way past when the "favour" would be over. I love to put on the baby shower, the bridal shower, the surprise party, bake the cookies, and the cupcakes, and come in on my day off to open the pharmacy. I really do. It feels good to be nice. It just sucks when I realize that I just spent all that time away from my family and that I missed the park with my kids while I quickly ran into work.
And there you have it...niceness to a fault. And what will I do about it? Nothing. Cause that would be mean. And I just don't have it in me.
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