Where are you?

Sorry for the disappearing act but I have been busy.  I am absolutely loving my new job.  I desperately miss the amazing people I have worked with over the last ten years but the change has proved to be the right choice.  I have been thoroughly amazed by what we do.  The reason for my disappearing act is that I have a ton of learning to do.  Not to toot my own horn, but I think I am a fairly good pharmacist.  I have kept up with the changing medical information and I can answer questions and counsel patients with the best of them.  But right now I am constantly and continually reminded that I am in over my head.  I can actually feel the pathways forming in my brain as I learn new information on a constant basis.  There is a way to replenish your vitamin D stores in less than a week.  There are bioidentical hormones that can help with any and every hormonal imbalance without the risk of heart disease or cancer.  There are things you can do for autism.  There is a whole range of treatments for erectile dysfunction (even though they have to stick needles in their penis)  We can pretty much make a treatment for every issue.  I am in complete awe of this part of pharmacy that I hardly knew existed.

But I am also really loving life.  Poor Scott now has to pick up the kids from daycare and make supper every night.  My hours are great because I don't have any more evenings or weekends but I do work till 5:30 everyday.  I have been missing the time with the kids in the evenings, but knowing that I have every weekend free is amazing.  I have had the opportunity to meet up with friends some evenings because I don't feel guilty that I have already worked some.  And when someone asks me if I am free on a weekend in the future, I don't have to worry about what my schedule might look like and I can make plans.

And on a completely different note, I have began to decrease my Celexa.  I am a little nervous that I won't recognize that I am slipping if it happens so please let me know know if you have any concerns with my behavior.  Scott is honestly terrified which I go between understanding and being sad.  I do not think that begin on an antidepressant is wrong or that the stigma should exist.  I just am really feeling good about things right now and I want to try out life without it.

I am sitting in a quiet house missing my kids but loving the silence. Before the job change I was supposed to work this weekend and Scott is at work right now.  We had arranged for the kids to go spend the weekend with their grandparents.  And Grandma and Grandpa were so excited that it seemed mean to take it back.  I think that a quiet weekend alone will make me miss them and maybe I will be a bit better of a mom because of it.   I just have to figure out what I am going to do after this....