Supermom-ism

This can be about Superdad-ism too.  Please replace all the "moms" with "dads" throughout:

There is a huge difference between being the best mom you can be and being a supermom.  Supermom-ism is when you observe other moms and decide that they are better than you.  This drives you to try to be more like them and creates your Supermom-ism.  Just because another mom bakes everyday or has a super clean house or takes their kids to the park daily does not mean they are a better mom than you.  You are likely filling your time with your kids with other activities that those other moms don't have the time for...because they are busy being the mom that comes naturally to them.  If you love your kids more than the world and you give them everything you have to offer, you are the best mom you can be. We all need rests sometimes.  It's okay that your kids get fast food or you have a movie day because you are too tired (or lazy) to play.  You are not only a mom...you are human.

Before Jack was born, I gave being a mom to Lily my absolute all.  Because I worked full time, every moment I had with her was important.  We did activities on the days I wasn't at work, we filled our weekends with things she loved, we ate every meal at the table, I cooked healthy foods and snacks, and I played with her all the time.  When Jack was born both Lily and I believed that life could carry on as before.  I tried to do all things I had done before, but it was impossible.  How can you be giving your absolute all and then add twice as much.  Because I couldn't reach my expectations, I felt like a failure. It took some very great moms that I know to explain that a granola bar in front of the TV was still breakfast and that if Lily fell asleep in the car at lunch time, it was okay to eat lunch later in the afternoon.  It was okay to let other people see my disastrous house...come on admit it, you all clean up right before someone comes over.  Would it be so bad if others saw your house like they see their own? I didn't want to go out because we weren't all perfectly showered, bathed and dressed.  I didn't want others to see my baby cry...PS.  Babies cry sometimes.  I didn't invite people here because they would see that I couldn't keep it all together....my house, my two year old, my newborn, and myself.  It was too much. It was crazy.  I was crazy.  

Supermom-ism caused me to feel inadequate.  Supermom-ism made me depressed.  Supermom-ism made me a failure in my own eyes.  I have now learned that I am a great mom.  The things that make me great include having fantastic birthday parties, swimming with both my kids by myself (even when they were three months and two years), singing and dancing daily, owning every Disney movie, travelling with small kids, doing crafts, and sharing parenting responsibilities equally with my husband.  Things that make other moms great but that aren't me include having a clean house, baking goodies, staying out late, going for daily walks, etc.  While I would love to do all those things too, I only do them when I feel like it.  The pressure to perform is gone. There is no such thing as a perfect mom.  I have stopped trying to do it all and instead enjoy being the mom that I am.  

And I believe that in itself makes me a better mom.