Instinct is Best!!

No one knows your baby like you do. If you think something is wrong, you are probably right.  You see it everywhere....breast is best.  But it is only best if you can produce enough milk and milk that contains the proper nutrients.  I am not trying to discredit those who breastfeed.  You amaze me and you should be so proud of your accomplishments.  Breast milk contains the proper fat content for every age of your infant and can pass immunity to your baby.  This was incredibly important to me being that Jack was born right in the middle of the H1N1 shenanigans.  We were released from the hospital one day after his birth.  I wanted to get home to Lily and start my new life with my baby.  The next day I returned to emergency because I was peeing blood.  It was only a urinary tract infection, but that infection stayed with me for another three weeks.  The day after that, the healthy and home nurse came for a visit and tested Jack's blood because he appeared jaundice.  We returned to the hospital where he was admitted and stayed for three days.  It it kind of funny that they tell you the importance of taking regular baths after giving birth.  There was no bathtub in peds.  I slept on a tiny cot and the room had another baby in it whose mother was not there and she cried most of the night.  Jack was quite sick by this point.  They tried to get an IV into his head 13 times before it worked.  He didn't squirm or cry.  He just laid there sadly looking up at those who were trying to help him.  He was put on IV fluids and was fed formula so the doctors could monitor his intake.  I tried to pump as much as possible, but the pump was in another room and I had to leave him alone to do so.  Between my body trying to fight the infection, the stress of the hospital stay, the lack of actual nursing time, and not pumping as often as I should have...my milk production was low.  I was put on every drug and herb to make milk.  They measured Jack's weight every two days.  He was growing according to the growth chart but he cried....alot!!  They assumed he was a needy baby.  I assumed he was hungry, but I certainly didn't want to fail at breastfeeding...and so I continued.  The breastfeeding struggle only worsened my post partum depression and I had lost my instinct as a mother.  Why did I think he was hungry all the time if he was growing appropriately?  Finally I gave in and switched to formula.  (Which contains the Vitamin D that is missing in breast milk and also has the needed iron to make switching to meats immediately at six months not as important!!)  He smiled, he laughed, he slept longer...and he stopped crying.  No one knew that Jack took after his 6'9" daddy when measuring him on those charts.  I had been right.  He had been hungry.  He grew like a weed and gained a bunch of weight...and he was happy! I truly believe that the very best mothers follow their instinct.  Sometimes that's all you've got!!