The creation of family

I was happy...for a while.  At first the idea of having an only child was okay.  I had this wonderful little girl, I could get KFC with all the other mothers on Mother's Day, I was able to do all the kid stuff.  But then I thought about my own childhood.  Everything was better about my childhood because I had a brother.  I thought about our many camping trips and how we had entertained eachother.  It's not that I think that children are better because they have a sibling.  I don't think they need a sibling to be well-rounded or happy.  I just wanted Lily to have the kind of family memories that I had.  My quest for my first child was completely for me.  The quest for a second was for her.  I always knew that if we were offered another Inuit child, we would jump at the chance.  That would be the best scenario for Lily.  She would have someone to discuss her feelings of adoption with.  But I had realized that Lily was a once in a lifetime chance and that we couldn't count on another delivery from the stork.   Our decision to have a biological child had nothing to do with a desire to be pregnant or have a child that looked like us.  We already knew that those were small concerns in a lifetime with your child.  This time our quest for a biological child was a default after waiting for another adoption.  It's strange to think that when we wanted a biological child, we adopted.  When we wanted an adopted child, we got pregnant.  Maybe it was a lesson in unanswered prayers. 
After our first IVF cycle we had returned for a consultation.  Their suggestions were not at all what we wanted to do.  Because of this, I had a hard time talking Scott into going back.  Because our first cycle was a complete failure, we thought our chances of it working were small.  They explained that each cycle is individual and that our chances were the same as the first time.  I wasn't sure what Scott was thinking when we left the office, but he headed straight to the receptionist's office to pay our registration fee.  It was decided.  This was our next path in our journey to create our family.