What a mighty good man

I think that we sometimes forget about the men.  For example, when a family brings home the new baby, everyone asks how the mom is doing.  Yes, labour is definitely more difficult for the mother, but was the dad not there at all?  Did he not stay up the whole 24 hours (22 hours of which was labour...I'll keep that story for another day) trying to keep the mother relaxed and calm.  Did he not have to sleep on a piece of foam on the floor of the hospital while mom and baby both slept in beds?  We need to remember that we need these men.  Jack was born just after midnight.  He was a really good baby that night and slept quite well.  I woke up at about 4:00 am in incredible pain.  I swear things hurt that I didn't even know that I had. I called the nurse to get some medication.  If I could have crawled onto the floor to get some comfort from Scott, I would have.  I really needed him that night, but I was pretty sure that if I got down there, I wasn't getting back up again.  During the infertility journey everyone worries about the woman.  It's like the man is just there to supply the goods.  I think it is often forgotten that it is their dreams of having a family that are being messed with too.  And because the woman is often more likely to be the one to fall to pieces, the man has to appear strong for them.  And when the timing is right, no one worries that the man has the flu.  They better perform in case this is the month.  You just can't miss that window.  During IVF, the woman is kept relatively comfortable.  She is given hot blankets and Ativan to relax her during the retrieval.  The man is given one of two rooms to perform his magic.  The first has a rubber couch and porn from the '80s.  The other is a converted bathroom in which the man gets to sit on the toilet and read a magazine while making the magic.  Super romantic.  Super sexy. But we don't worry about the stress that causes for the man or the fact that he just watched someone he cares about writhe around on the bed while they stuck needles through her vaginal wall.  Get in there and do your thing!  Or what about moving day?  Even if he is the smallest skinniest man in the world, he would be expected to carry the fridge.  The largest heaviest woman would be asked to unpack the utensils.  Makes me glad to be a woman in that scenario. During my struggles with post partum depression I wasn't able to do the night time feedings.  Once I finally got to sleep, I needed to stay asleep or not sleep at all.  Scott fed Jack twice a night and got up at 6:30 to go to work everyday.  People would look at the bags under his eyes and say, "Wow, your wife must really be struggling."  And I was, but so was he.  He carried our family by doing those feedings, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, and making supper.  And all the while everyone asked him how I was was doing.  No one asked how he was doing. By no means am I trying to make anyone feel bad about this.  Its just the way it works.  Whenever a new baby comes into the world, the expression reads, "Mom and baby are doing fine." 
Just don't tell him I wrote this.  I don't want the secret to be out!